work v play

do you ever feel like work gets in the way of your fun? all my life i wanted to be an artist. at first i had no idea what kind of artist, i didn't know what i was good at. years later i attend college planning to become a painter. reality sets in, i suck at painting. i then proceed to take a photography class - it was like someone hit me over the head and was saying shoot! photo became my world. my closest friend at school had been taking photography since high school and we shot different things, but i always felt a sense of competition with her. she was super good in her own right, but she rarely ventured outside of her comfort zone. me i couldn't get enough of new exciting things. when our teacher brought around vintage cameras and medium formats i swear i had my first orgasm right there in class. i spent four years of college experimenting in the dark room and became known as the weird artsy photography girl. in a relatively large art school that is seriously an honor.

but then life came on fast. i got a job in a bookstore thinking i still had time to try and find a photography assistant job. then life came on even faster and i realized i had to pay bills. student loan payments started up, car insurance and my god i wanted to move out my parents house after 3 weeks of being back home! so i went the way of any common slave to bills i got an office job. five years later i still work in an office - i do accounts payable. for those of you who have no idea what accounts payable is - i pay bills. any corporation or company has a person who receives invoices for payment and quite simply, pays them.

i wish i had more time to be that artsy kid again. photography has moved to a digital age and i missed out. i went to college before they were even thinking about offering those kinds of classes. i remember senior year being so upset because i had to take certain requirement classes and not having room in my schedule for a digital photo class. it was the first ever one they had offered. now i try to teach myself things here and there and stay updated. but i still have to work a full time slave driver job. i dream about the day when i get to shoot all day and edit all night. hmm, one can dream i guess.