Did you ever find an old notebook from years ago and decide to flip through. It is liek openign a time capsule. I found this notebook I used to carry in college. It has the phone numbers of guys who asked me out years ago that I never went out with. I mean how hilarious is that. My god it even has lists of dvds and books I know I watched and read. Quotes and comments about people I recently met. It is like a flash back into my existence before a real job.
I miss being that idealistic and having that much free time. I have zero free time now. Being a puppy momma to one good puppy and one bad is so tiring. Most people think when I say one good one bad I mean Toulouse bad Rackham good. NOPE!!! I mean frumpy face Rackham is naughty and Toulouse is my angel. Yet Toulouse hates everyone and tries to attack people for no good reason. I guess that is why people think he is the bad one. He is just a little lover face once you get to know him. Mmmm my babies I wish I was home with them.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Monday, September 29, 2008
bus passes
Have you ever thought you were in love just to get bored 3 weeks later. I have sooooo many times. I was the classic three week relationship. I have mostly guy friends - actually I have ALL guy friends and the only girls I hang with are their girlfriends. So I used to joke that I had a three week buzz pass for relationships. I was a get on get out kinda girl. I mean I would once in awhile date a guy for a few months maybe even be lured into saying the dreaded three words that is every guys worst nightmare. Basically, I was always the GUY in the relationship. One night stands were preferable had at his place - made it easier to slip out at 3 am. But all of the flings ended pretty much the same way. I was either bored, not attracted to them anymore, wanted someone else, or simply I got to know them and realized they were pretty much lame. None of these relationships ever made it to one year - ever.
I have only had two boyfriends for more than a year. The first was my high school sweetie kins, Matty face. We dated sporadically all through high school. Only to end up back together 9 years later - now we are getting MARRIED!!! The other was my college boyfriend, we started to date the beginning of summer before my junior year and broke up soon after my senior year started. That was a train wreck.
But I just find it crazy that I have met, befriended and dated a numerous amount of men. Yet, the only man I can say after a year and 4 months of re-dating (4 months of engagement) I still get upset when I don't spend time with him. I am the kind of person who needs a lot of space, tons of me time. Oh, and forget it if I am in a bad mood you need to stay far far away. But I still love Matty the same as when we first got back together. It kinda scares me. I can't wait to go hoem adn squeeze him, he so hates that.
I have only had two boyfriends for more than a year. The first was my high school sweetie kins, Matty face. We dated sporadically all through high school. Only to end up back together 9 years later - now we are getting MARRIED!!! The other was my college boyfriend, we started to date the beginning of summer before my junior year and broke up soon after my senior year started. That was a train wreck.
But I just find it crazy that I have met, befriended and dated a numerous amount of men. Yet, the only man I can say after a year and 4 months of re-dating (4 months of engagement) I still get upset when I don't spend time with him. I am the kind of person who needs a lot of space, tons of me time. Oh, and forget it if I am in a bad mood you need to stay far far away. But I still love Matty the same as when we first got back together. It kinda scares me. I can't wait to go hoem adn squeeze him, he so hates that.
morning breath is yummy
Good morning - Happy Monday!!!!
- - - yeah right....
So as per usual overly tired this fine Monday morning. Simply due to the fact that I love Matty face way too much. I had all these things I needed to go before bedtime, eg. fold laundry, take a shower, put his clothes out for him. But Matty needs/wants me to rub his back. In his defense he does have the back of a 82 year old man. The poor man will probably never be able to pick up our children. But it was 11.30 and I was tired. But as the dutiful bride that I am I grabbed some lotion and found the ouchy spot and rubbed and punched his pain. Not away mind you because my little hands cramped up after like 15 minutes. So at midnight I am like I can't anymore sorry baby. I then fall immediately asleep and have horrific nightmares. Just when the nightmare can't get any worse his alarm starts blaring. At this point I am aware I am awake and can't stop thinking about this horrible nightmare. I want to sleep another five minutes hoping the dream will begin again because maybe it would have gotten better and I wouldn't feel so frazzled.
But does anyone want to know the update of the save the dates? Because I can't wait to tell you - they are DONE!! so Matt still has to print them out for me, but the layout is awesomeness. The envelopes are hilarious. Matt downloaded a new font called "Another Typewriter" I love typewriter fonts. So I did the envelopes in this font so they look like the uni bomber is sending them. It is hilariously awesome, but I did make puppy postage so it isn't too uni bomber. The postage is super glossy it is kinda odd. But hey my family knows I am crazy about the dogs and Matt's family has been subjected to random Toulouse events. He is such a good baby he just can't help himself. He wants momma all to himself. For example. I was laying on the floor with frumpy face Rackham. We were chilling nose to nose and Toulouse walks over and lays right on Rackham's left arm. He proceeds to lick my nose. I am like are you serious you just want to that much closer than Rackham.
But I am way off topic and I realize the mail will be here soon so I must jet....
- - - yeah right....
So as per usual overly tired this fine Monday morning. Simply due to the fact that I love Matty face way too much. I had all these things I needed to go before bedtime, eg. fold laundry, take a shower, put his clothes out for him. But Matty needs/wants me to rub his back. In his defense he does have the back of a 82 year old man. The poor man will probably never be able to pick up our children. But it was 11.30 and I was tired. But as the dutiful bride that I am I grabbed some lotion and found the ouchy spot and rubbed and punched his pain. Not away mind you because my little hands cramped up after like 15 minutes. So at midnight I am like I can't anymore sorry baby. I then fall immediately asleep and have horrific nightmares. Just when the nightmare can't get any worse his alarm starts blaring. At this point I am aware I am awake and can't stop thinking about this horrible nightmare. I want to sleep another five minutes hoping the dream will begin again because maybe it would have gotten better and I wouldn't feel so frazzled.
But does anyone want to know the update of the save the dates? Because I can't wait to tell you - they are DONE!! so Matt still has to print them out for me, but the layout is awesomeness. The envelopes are hilarious. Matt downloaded a new font called "Another Typewriter" I love typewriter fonts. So I did the envelopes in this font so they look like the uni bomber is sending them. It is hilariously awesome, but I did make puppy postage so it isn't too uni bomber. The postage is super glossy it is kinda odd. But hey my family knows I am crazy about the dogs and Matt's family has been subjected to random Toulouse events. He is such a good baby he just can't help himself. He wants momma all to himself. For example. I was laying on the floor with frumpy face Rackham. We were chilling nose to nose and Toulouse walks over and lays right on Rackham's left arm. He proceeds to lick my nose. I am like are you serious you just want to that much closer than Rackham.
But I am way off topic and I realize the mail will be here soon so I must jet....
Friday, September 26, 2008
batman smells like beef and cheese
Okay so my day started out all “Yay, rainy day!” But it has slowly turned on me. I am bored out of my skull. This is not an abnormal thing. But I have started doing stream of conscience writing to make myself look busy. This tends to get me in trouble with my own brain. So I am writing away and I starting thinking about how much more awesome life would have been if I had just played by the rules. Ya know, took an internship with a photographer like I was supposed to instead of working 2 jobs to pay for my so-called friends alcohol consumption. Then I was like maybe I need to get farther away than just Philly. Maybe we should move to London. It looks like the housing prices our similar and the job market might actually be a better one! Then I think that god is punishing me because my contact falls out and I am stuck sitting here with one contact in and a splitting headache. Ugh, I had to call matty face and tell him to bring me my glasses so that I can drive home safely. I can’t get the stinking contact back in.
Let’s just say thank goodness it is Friday. I have seriously nothing planned, but I think I might have to our save the dates since Matt cannot be trusted with a single wedding task. What part of our deadline is Sept 13 for save the dates does he not understand. And when I ask why he hasn’t done them he simply says he doesn’t have the time. He doesn’t have the time he is sitting on the couch zooming out while petting Toulouse. That looks like at least 10 min of free time to me.
I understand he doesn’t spend time with the pups as much as I do, but he doesn’t seem to want to spend the kind of time they want. They want to play and give kisses. Matt wants them to sit there and be petted. He wants a breathing pillow to lie next to him. I see them as babies. Babies who need me to feed them and love them. I would never let anyone hurt them. Not that I think Matt would ever let anyone hurt them either, but I think that Matt is so used to having dogs that are seen as pets only he doesn’t feel the same maternal instinct I do. I realize I constantly put myself in crazy dog lady category, but hey I’m a crazy punk rock dog momma now give me a few years and I will be crazy punk rock mom.
Now don’t get me started on mommy-dom. I can’t wait to be a mommy. I think about it all the time, but I feel as though I missed so much of my life already rushing through the boring bits that I don’t want to rush into that as well. My entire life has been spent waiting for the next phase. For the first time in my life I am trying to actually enjoy a stage. The newly wedded bliss people talk about. I can’t wait. We will “have a house” and can enjoy each other!!! Hah, I seriously fool myself when I say that we will have any free time to enjoy each other. We have zero free time now. There is always somewhere we need to be or something that needs to be done. There are never enough days in the week.
I just made the mistake of looking at the clock. 3 o’clock and still nothing to do. I think pretending to write emails is starting to glean a small amount of suspicion from the peanut gallery. Going to hide in plain sight.
Let’s just say thank goodness it is Friday. I have seriously nothing planned, but I think I might have to our save the dates since Matt cannot be trusted with a single wedding task. What part of our deadline is Sept 13 for save the dates does he not understand. And when I ask why he hasn’t done them he simply says he doesn’t have the time. He doesn’t have the time he is sitting on the couch zooming out while petting Toulouse. That looks like at least 10 min of free time to me.
I understand he doesn’t spend time with the pups as much as I do, but he doesn’t seem to want to spend the kind of time they want. They want to play and give kisses. Matt wants them to sit there and be petted. He wants a breathing pillow to lie next to him. I see them as babies. Babies who need me to feed them and love them. I would never let anyone hurt them. Not that I think Matt would ever let anyone hurt them either, but I think that Matt is so used to having dogs that are seen as pets only he doesn’t feel the same maternal instinct I do. I realize I constantly put myself in crazy dog lady category, but hey I’m a crazy punk rock dog momma now give me a few years and I will be crazy punk rock mom.
Now don’t get me started on mommy-dom. I can’t wait to be a mommy. I think about it all the time, but I feel as though I missed so much of my life already rushing through the boring bits that I don’t want to rush into that as well. My entire life has been spent waiting for the next phase. For the first time in my life I am trying to actually enjoy a stage. The newly wedded bliss people talk about. I can’t wait. We will “have a house” and can enjoy each other!!! Hah, I seriously fool myself when I say that we will have any free time to enjoy each other. We have zero free time now. There is always somewhere we need to be or something that needs to be done. There are never enough days in the week.
I just made the mistake of looking at the clock. 3 o’clock and still nothing to do. I think pretending to write emails is starting to glean a small amount of suspicion from the peanut gallery. Going to hide in plain sight.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
nothing to see here
So today is basically a usual Thursday. I am sitting at work pretending to do work, but am in actuality doing wedding stuff!! So I am compiling a master list of people we know. I don't even care if they are going to be invited. I want every stinking person I knows actual address, email, and phone number. It is annoying tedious but hey it keeps me busy at work and it actually looks like I may be doing something. My plan is so that I never have to run around looking for this stuff ever again.
****This is prolly the most boring topic ever - not like anyone is reading my blog. This is obviously my way of venting so that Matt's doesn't have to deal with it.****
Okay so I haven't decided if we are inviting my work people. I mean I see them every day, I spend more time with them than Matt. But if I invite just a couple the list gets out of hand because I don't want to offend anyone. Then I am way over our number, ugh. And you can't forget about how much it will cost. I still have no idea how we are going to pay for it all. Matt was supposed to do graphics jobs and I was going to get a part time gig. He put the kabosh on me working part time like immediately. But he said he would do freelance and I have yet to see him work. Ugh, I just want all this over. Is that so wrong?
****This is prolly the most boring topic ever - not like anyone is reading my blog. This is obviously my way of venting so that Matt's doesn't have to deal with it.****
Okay so I haven't decided if we are inviting my work people. I mean I see them every day, I spend more time with them than Matt. But if I invite just a couple the list gets out of hand because I don't want to offend anyone. Then I am way over our number, ugh. And you can't forget about how much it will cost. I still have no idea how we are going to pay for it all. Matt was supposed to do graphics jobs and I was going to get a part time gig. He put the kabosh on me working part time like immediately. But he said he would do freelance and I have yet to see him work. Ugh, I just want all this over. Is that so wrong?
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
the morning after
Okay so I am seriously tired from last night. I will tell you all about the movie, but first let me tell you why I am tired. So Matt parks in like a whole different zip code. By the time we get home the dogs are so hyper it takes them till close to 11:00 before they even remotely settle down. And in all actuality, I had to put them to bed because I couldn't stay awake any longer. I hate putting them to bed when they aren't tired because that endless whining cuts me to the core. The vet said they would stop whining as they got older, she lied. Toulouse is older than Rackham by 3 months and he is a much bigger baby about bedtime. Rackham just frumps and lets out a big sigh. Toulouse opens those giant eyes and makes gasping sounds like he is about to die. Ok - enough about my pups and my endless love of them.
The movie was no Fight Club, that I will tell you right now. But Angelica Huston and Sam Rockwell were amazing. I'm not quite sure if I liked the fact that it seemed to be an all star cast pulling indie cred. The movie had a very indie feel to it, but it was littered with stars like Bijou Phillips and Kelly Macdonald of Nanny McPhee and No Country for Old Men fame. While watching I couldn't help to think to myself if everyone in the theater had read the book prior to seeing the film. The script seemed very close to the book, but I have not read the book in entirety since college. When I learned that the book was being turned into a movie more than a year ago I began reading it again only to be distracted by a fresh pile of books to consume where I didn't already remember the ending. But as I watched the movie unfold last night I found myself actually excited to see what would happen next. Only once did I all of a sudden have a flash of "I know what is going to happen next."
So all in all I am glad to say I was one of the first to see this up and coming cult classic. I can't wait to see which one of Palahniuk's books get rewritten for the screen next!
The movie was no Fight Club, that I will tell you right now. But Angelica Huston and Sam Rockwell were amazing. I'm not quite sure if I liked the fact that it seemed to be an all star cast pulling indie cred. The movie had a very indie feel to it, but it was littered with stars like Bijou Phillips and Kelly Macdonald of Nanny McPhee and No Country for Old Men fame. While watching I couldn't help to think to myself if everyone in the theater had read the book prior to seeing the film. The script seemed very close to the book, but I have not read the book in entirety since college. When I learned that the book was being turned into a movie more than a year ago I began reading it again only to be distracted by a fresh pile of books to consume where I didn't already remember the ending. But as I watched the movie unfold last night I found myself actually excited to see what would happen next. Only once did I all of a sudden have a flash of "I know what is going to happen next."
So all in all I am glad to say I was one of the first to see this up and coming cult classic. I can't wait to see which one of Palahniuk's books get rewritten for the screen next!
Monday, September 22, 2008
mondays and movies
So exhausted I hate Mondays, but tonight is a special Monday. Tonight there is a free preview of Choke. I love movies, but I hate movie theaters. Something about breathing someone else's air for 90 mins makes me hyperventilate. But I plan to suck it up and put my cell phone on silent so that I can enjoy one of my favorite books on the big screen. I usually hate "book turned movie" films. But if the adaptation of Fight Club was any near indication about how both book and movie could be spectacular in their own right I will be head over heels. I mean look at the movie poster below- how can you not get excited!
Another movie I just found out that is going to be released and was based on what I refer to as "junk food for my brain" is Confessions of a Shopaholic. This is also a fav book of mine and the only reason I am excited to see it, but in the comfort of my own home, is that Isla Fisher is playing the lead character Rebecca Bloomwood. I pretty much love anything Isla Fisher does. I mean the movie could be horrible but she is amazing. She is also engaged to Borat and she just produced a little girl Borat a year ago. That little girl is either going to be a super comedienne or a dramatic actress.
Ugh, I must get back to my work day...I would so much rather be blogging about movies and books than dealing with pushing paper.
Thursday, September 18, 2008
first time ever
Ok so I have always thought blogging was slightly neurotic, but then again I love to read other people's blogs. So I decided what the heck.
Let's see as anyone who has ever met me knows I am a little nutty, but in a cute kinda way. I am obsessed with my two dogs - Toulouse and Rackham - and I am going to marry my first love Matthew in just a few short months.
Sometimes I think part of the reason I am so restless is that I can't wait to find out what happens next. I want the wedding to have already passed so I can stop worrying about paying for everything. I want our house purchased and moved into so that I can stop looking. I feel as though I am missing out on my life by not doing what I know I should be doing.
Half of my friends are young professionals who are busy being married and having kids. The other half of my friends are still acting like we did in college. They go out and drink on weekdays, go to shows, meet crazy new people. I dream about doing all of these things. But I dream about doing them differently. I want to combine the years of my crazy youth with my future years of being a wife and mom. Is that possible? Can you be a good mom and still rock out?
Let's see as anyone who has ever met me knows I am a little nutty, but in a cute kinda way. I am obsessed with my two dogs - Toulouse and Rackham - and I am going to marry my first love Matthew in just a few short months.
Sometimes I think part of the reason I am so restless is that I can't wait to find out what happens next. I want the wedding to have already passed so I can stop worrying about paying for everything. I want our house purchased and moved into so that I can stop looking. I feel as though I am missing out on my life by not doing what I know I should be doing.
Half of my friends are young professionals who are busy being married and having kids. The other half of my friends are still acting like we did in college. They go out and drink on weekdays, go to shows, meet crazy new people. I dream about doing all of these things. But I dream about doing them differently. I want to combine the years of my crazy youth with my future years of being a wife and mom. Is that possible? Can you be a good mom and still rock out?
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