so today i had a mini melt down. matty face and i spent our weekend running around. family fun on saturday but sunday was work. work in the sense that we had to house hunt. back tracking a bit to explain why we are house hunting. we decided we should buy a house since the market is the way that it is. a house that is all ours, a place that i can paint the walls the way i want to. then we were planning to rent this house out and move to a nicer bigger place. so i found us a house. let me elaborate - i randomnly found one. we went to visit it and fell in love. i loved the kitchen and the back yard. matty face started dreaming up little renovations - a roof top patio!! then we got the home inspection, the place was falling apart. i mean falling apart - at the seams. so we bailed. now we feel like we need to find a place - like we feel obligated. i told matty face if we don't find a place by jan 1 i am taking the money and putting it towards the wedding fund. so now we have a realtor who is taking us to houses that we can't afford or houses we would never in a million years want to rent out. so i am a little frustrated.
but then i pause and think, are we doing the right thing. buying a house. i never thought i would buy a house. i almost did 3 years ago. and i freaked at the last minute. i can't move around like a nomad like i want. my plan before me and the face got back together was to pay off my bills and then travel. join a band as a photographer and just roam the world. matty face doesnt really like that idea and i think he thinks i'll grow out of it. maybe i will, but right now i hate being stuck in one place for too long.
should we buy a house. should we move back home. if we do either will i be giving up my freedom. so many questions and no one to really give me the right answers.
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