Tuesday, October 21, 2008

chuck norris's tears cure cancer

so today i had a mini melt down.  matty face and i spent our weekend running around.  family fun on saturday but sunday was work.  work in the sense that we had to house hunt.  back tracking a bit to explain why we are house hunting.  we decided we should buy a house since the market is the way that it is.  a house that is all ours, a place that i can paint the walls the way i want to.  then we were planning to rent this house out and move to a nicer bigger place.  so i found us a house.  let me elaborate -  i randomnly found one.  we went to visit it and fell in love.  i loved the kitchen and the back yard.  matty face started dreaming up little renovations - a roof top patio!! then we got the home inspection, the place was falling apart.  i mean falling apart - at the seams.  so we bailed.  now we feel like we need to find a place - like we feel obligated.  i told matty face if we don't find a place by jan 1 i am taking the money and putting it towards the wedding fund.  so now we have a realtor who is taking us to houses that we can't afford or houses we would never in a million years want to rent out.  so i am a little frustrated. 

but then i pause and think, are we doing the right thing.  buying a house.  i never thought i would buy a house.  i almost did 3 years ago.  and i freaked at the last minute.  i can't move around like a nomad like i want.  my plan before me and the face got back together was to pay off my bills and then travel.  join a band as a photographer and just roam the world.  matty face doesnt really like that idea and i think he thinks i'll grow out of it.  maybe i will, but right now i hate being stuck in one place for too long. 

should we buy a house.  should we move back home.  if we do either will i be giving up my freedom.  so many questions and no one to really give me the right answers. 

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