please dont crash

I have not written in ages. But that is not 100% my fault. I usually write my blog while I am at work. Simply because the puppies make life difficult and it is hard to do anything besides sit still and let them lick your face. But lately, whenever I try to post my blog my system crashes and then I am like ‘dammit I am not rewriting that!!” SO here is yet another attempt. (work computer, please don’t crash)




Anyway, today is 1/27/09 that means something like 44 days till my wedding. Ahhhhh! I spoke with one of my bridesmen last night and even he was like. “Yeah dude, you must be freakin’. Your wedding is like a month away.” Thanks to my loving friend but yes I am. Not freaking because I don’t wanna get married, but freaking because I am a control freak. All my friends are aware and this friend is particular has been on the wrong end of a PMS fit more than once. I think he is slightly glad that I am getting married so when I get in one of my moods I don’t arrive at his house and demand he let me organize something or clean something. I didn’t like my roommate so I pretty much lived on his couch. But I think we all lived on that couch. We would all roll by on a Friday night and not leave till Sunday.



But back to me and my wedding. So yes, we still have not chosen a honeymoon location nor have we figured out what we are doing with the pups. But my current freak out is my tattoos. I have a bunch, and I say that as if I have small elegantly placed ones. But they aren’t. I have a huge chest piece that is in no way hide able. I have a back piece and a piece under my left bicep. I normally cover these with my clothing. I work in a conservative office environment and keep that side of personality under wraps. But I had planned to wither buy a dress to cover them or wear a garment and the final answer was use tattoo cover-up. I had my trial over the weekend and I wanted to cry. She had to cake so much on that I am worried the makeup will damage my dress or the coat I will wear. Now I am contemplating coming out of the proverbial tattoo closet. I am so scared. My parents are extremely conservative and they paid for most of the wedding. I don’t want to embarrass them. I understand that this would mean that I am an embarrassment and that this is my wedding day. But I care what they think. And yes, at some point I would have to come out of the closet. I am 28 I want to have kids and play at the beach and show my parents pictures of that. But I have a sister who is 5 years older than me. She also has tattoos and she keeps it a secret as well. Her husband has this amazing piece on his bicep of my sister as a pinup. It is so hot!



I don’t know what to do. I am having lunch with my mom on Feb 14th. Hopefully I will grow a pair and tell her. I know it will make the face so happy to see his blushing bride walk down the aisle all tatted up.